FLAG REVIEW
Going through every U.N Country in a head-to-head vexillology showdown
ACHIEVEMENTS
SYMMETRY
No matter what way you fly it, you fly with style
COLOR
Simple color theory. It has to look good
WOW! FACTOR
Reserved for those just bad-ass flags
BOLD
Sometimes being bold pays off. Sometimes
DRAWABLE
Can a toddler draw it? Have to teach nationalism while they are young
ON BRAND
The country and flag are one
SINS
COPY CAT
No one wants to mistake your flag for someone else
BUSY
Less is more
DULL
Which country is this?
PEOPLE AND PLACES
Really compensates for an ambiguous flag
EYE SORE
If it hurts to look at, its a bad flag
GOD AND GUNS
Let's bring unity, not division
AFGANISTAN
Oh boy. If you have to change that text box to white, then you have to subsequently change the background. The finely detailed center outdoes itself. And what is up with having your own flag on your flag? Or those stairs to nowhere? This flag has some M. Night Shyamalan twists. 2/10
ANDORA
This flag got so much wrong for such a little country. The mustard yellow between red and blue is an absolute pain to look at. The “Romania who?” emblem in the middle is as busy and ornate as it gets. Why cows? Not a very powerful animal. 2/10
UAE
A bit refreshing from the classic Arab red triangle, but still not too original with the colors. Simple, yet familiar. 5/10
ANTIGUA
The sun screams Caribbean, but the white screams snow. I like the simple sun and the bold, refreshing V design, but I can’t not see the flag as anything but watching a sunset from between your legs while laying on the beach.
6/10
ALBANIA
What’s cooler than one dragon? A conjoined twin dragon, that’s for sure. The simple layout keeps the focus on the center, but the red is not the most welcoming color. 7/10
ARMENIA
Eh, something about this attempt to force red, blue, and sorry excuse for yellow does not flow together. Pretty boring and struggles to bring anything new to the table. It is hard to do well with these colors. 2/10
ANGOLA
I appreciate the attempt at a refreshing take on the hammer and sickle, but c'mon, Angola, you brought a knife to Mozambique's gun fight. The dark color tones work well, but the asymmetric center with a detailed machete and simple gear further divide the flag. 4/10
ARGENTINA
You know that creepy moon from Zelda: Majora’s Mask? Well, his creepy cousin is front and center on the Argentinian flag. I mean, there is no winning when you have to put a face on the sun, but at least it stuck the landing with sky blue, right? 3/10
AUSTRIA
Can’t decide which of the two most common flag colors to use? Why not both and only both? Austria has somehow made boring even more boring. Maybe add the terminator on there? 1/10
AUSTRALIA
Australia, it's time to move out of your parent’s house and ditch the Union Jack. Everyone thinks you're a Kiwi; time to be a bigger man and change the flag first (they tired, and failed). The southern cross is a nice touch for the 10% that live down under. 3/10
AZERBAIJAN
This is what happens when you let a Vaporwave Iman design a flag. I appreciate going all in with both the crescent and adding the star, but the grassy green with baby blue doesn’t blend with the strip of red in between 2/10
BOSNIA AND HERZEGOVINA
This is the symmetry nightmare from hell. I feel like those stars are looping endlessly, like pac-man scrolling off the screen. The colors work well together but I feel so lost in the design, I can’t even get there. 2/10
BARBADOS
Yes! A trident! Now that’s cool. The black pops out with the tame yellow, which works well with the dark blue. I feel like Poseidon is waiting for me with a Piña Colada on the beach in the Caribbean. 8/10
BANGLADESH
Remember how I didn’t like the green in Azerbaijan? Yeah, I found a worse one. It's the evil uncle of Japan that never got its fame. And can someone center that circle please? 1/10
BELGIUM
An original European style with 3 vertical lines, but I like the twist of adding black. The weird aspect ratio throws me off, but at least it redeems itself with a pleasant color scheme. 5/10
BURKINA FASO
Well, Vietnam got a bit festive for Christmas and decided to travel the Volta River through Western Africa. The colors here don’t blow me away, but keeping it simple is a good idea for an African flag. You’ll get used to these colors in West Africa. 5/10
BULGARIA
Bulgaria? Soviet? Nooooooo way. It looks nothing like the Russian flag! Bulgaria, it’s time to break away from the horizontal bars. Flex your Balkan side rather than your Soviet side. 3/10
BAHRAIN
Woah, I like the jagged line. Simple colors give Bahrain a crisp, clean flag that might top my rank... wait, Qatar already did it in the 70s? 8/10
BENIN
This is what happens when someone is boring AND color blind. I know I complain about only horizontal or vertical bars, but this is not a step in the right direction. 1/10
BRUNEI
Oof. The center crest is a lot to start with: a palm tree moon pirate ship? But it is simple for a world flag. The taxi cab colors aren’t my taste, but way to add some angles to those bars, Brunei. 4/10
BOLIVIA
Not much to say here. It's a plain, traffic light flag. If you want to have a vexillology field day, look up the Wiphala flag. 3/10
BRAZIL
You were so close. If you could get rid of the words and clean up the stars, you have a solid flag. The colors are unique and bring a strong identity to this vibrant country. 8/10
BAHAMAS
Congrats, Bahamas: being bold pays off. . The dark colors with the black triangle makes this flag both easy on the eyes and distinct. Simple and clean. 9/10
BURUNDI
The direction is clear, bringing the focus to the center, but it’s ruined by insisting on punching you in the face with that extravagant green and red. I feel like someone is trying to have a Christmas themed Bar Mitzvah. 3/10
BHUTAN
Dragons are awesome, but where’s the color?. The empty-coloring-book look takes away from the charm. Orange and yellow work well together here. 5/10
BOTSWANA
A simple flag that goes a long way. The blue here is easy and unique and the black with the white outline allows the blue to pop even more. Simplicity done well. 9/10
BELARUS
This one is rough. As stated before, green and red are a rough combination. The lack of symmetry between the two makes it even worse. And the icing on the cake: the corn maze-like design that tapes the flag together. 1/10
BELIZE
Belize, you’re better than this. The complicated, detailed setting of the center emblem looks like it belongs on a U.S. state flag. The dark blue with red stripes is promising, but it’s overshadowed by the circular mural. 2/10
CANADA
They took something great and ran with it. The maple leaf is the ultimate emblem, and its power comes from its simplicity. One color is all you need for this well balanced flag. 10/10
DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF THE CONGO
There is nothing particularly bad about this flag, but nothing great either. The light blue with yellow and red isn’t having me jump up and down. At least it’s a refreshing color scheme change from much of the DRC’s sub-saharan peers. 4/10
CENTRAL AFRICAN REPUBLIC
If Bulgaria was busy, then this flag is bumper-to-bumper traffic. A rare flag with five colors and an asymmetric layout makes the CAR a double offender. The balance is off and the red stripe down the middle divides the flag into two awkward segments. 1/10
REPUBLIC OF THE CONGO
Simple flag, but with tough colors. It took Bolivia’s flag and tilted it 45 degrees. I do like the calming nature of two right triangles mirrored by a river of yellow. A nice change from vertical and horizontal lines. 4/10
SWITZERLAND
The classic 1:1 ratio flag. The perfect symmetry with the center plus, along with a simple red-white color scheme keep this flag well designed. I might sound greedy now, but it does seem a bit boring; still, definitely a top flag for Europe. 8/10
COTE D'IVOIRE
Ireland’s mirror in West Africa. A simple flag with a not too favorable orange stripe. Sadly, Ireland stole this color scheme first but Ivory coast has the potential to take back the brand. 4/10
CHILE
Commonly mistaken for Texas but wrong kind of Chili and wrong kind of BBQ. The simple one star box keeps the design crisp, drawing the observer’s eyes to the upper right, then down the stripes allows appreciation of the flag across the pattern. Nice job. 8/10
CAMEROON
Interchangeable with the rest of the Green-Red-Yellow African flags. Almost a true conformist, but the star gets brownie points for allowing Cameroon to stand out. 3/10
CHINA
The beast itself. It’s a bit unfair because it seems like China OWNS the color red. conic with its extensive communist presence. The arcing stars overlooking a sea of red gives the flag its sense of power and ubiquity. I'm giving it a high rating not because I want to, but because I have to. 9/10
